


future

by danidabbadoo



Series: love hurts [3]
Category: Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, M/M, Spoilers for Act 3, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 17:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17308424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danidabbadoo/pseuds/danidabbadoo
Summary: “I love you, too, El!”This phrase echoed within El’s mind as he shot up from his bedroll. His breaths were heavy and sweat beaded at his temple as he tried to ground himself. Glancing around the tent, he saw the peaceful faces of his friends, blissfully unaware of the heartbreaking experience he had just endured.





	future

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this is part 3 of the “love hurts” series. This part follows directly after part 2.   
> The only reason this is rated T is because they’re is some cursing.   
> To be honest, I didn’t think I was going to write another part, but I did. I might add more parts, but I’m not sure.  
> This is not edited, so I apologize for grammar mistakes.  
> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy!

“I love you, too, El!” 

This phrase echoed within El’s mind as he shot up from his bedroll. His breaths were heavy and sweat beaded at his temple as he tried to ground himself. Glancing around the tent, he saw the peaceful faces of his friends, blissfully unaware of the heartbreaking experience he had just endured. 

Sighing quietly, he laid back down as he relived the dream in his head. He had just said his final goodbye to the one he loved most. He had no idea how he was able to connect to his Erik; he didn’t think it was possible to infiltrate others’ dreams, especially the dreams of a person in a different timeline. It must have been a blessing from Yggdrasil, who somehow knew that he needed just a bit more time with his beloved. 

But, as El’s eyes once again filled with tears, he wondered if it was a curse rather then a blessing. He thought the painful goodbyes were over once he entered this timeline. He wasn’t prepared to endure that horrendous hurt again. 

Wiping his eyes roughly, he turned onto his side. He didn’t want to cry again. He had cried enough for ten years, let alone one day. As he took a deep breath to will the tears away, his eyes landed on Erik, who was sleeping next to him. 

Or, at least, who he thought was sleeping next to him. 

El’s eyes widened as Erik opened his bright, beautiful eyes to stare at him. His lips turned down at the corners as he focused on the watery shine in El’s eyes. “Nightmare?” he asked quietly, subtly scooting his body closer so that their faces was only a few inches away. El just nodded, figuring that was a good excuse to go along with as any. After all, he couldn’t just tell him that he had a mystical dream where he had just said his last goodbye to a different version of him and that was why he was crying. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

It was so strange, El thought. This Erik was so similar, yet so different to his Erik. By this point in this timeline, it seems that Erik and El had already established their feelings for each other, so the same intimate and comforting aura that existed around his Erik existed around this Erik. However, El knew Erik so much more deeply than Erik was aware of. El knew what haunted Erik and how it was destroying him from the inside out. His Erik had already faced his demons and grew into a more courageous and hopeful person. This Erik hadn’t underwent that development yet. His eyes said it all: he was still broken. Honestly, El was amazed he never noticed how shattered Erik was the first time around. It was obvious to him now. Perhaps he didn’t noticed because he had never seen Erik when he was put back together. 

Because of these things, El could feel a tangible distance between them that didn’t exist between him and his Erik. Another factor that added to the distance was that this Erik hadn’t endured the apocalypse with him. His Erik had been by his side when he had to face so many horrific moments after Yggdrasil fell. Enduring tragedies like those brought people together in ways nothing else ever could. It hurt El immensely that this distance existed between them now and that they probably would never quite reach the point they were at when he left.

Shaking his head in response to Erik’s question, he tentatively reached for Erik’s hand and smiled slightly when Erik let him lace their fingers together. Erik’s hands were the same, covered in calluses from wielding daggers and swords for so many years, and this brought El comfort in a strange way. It made sense that this Erik’s hands felt the same as his Erik’s hands, but the thought grounded El and reminded him that even though this Erik is different than his Erik, he was still Erik. He was still the guy he fell in love with. He was still the one who he treasured perhaps more deeply than any other. He had to just keep telling himself that, and maybe one day he’d believe it.

“Why are you up?” El asked softly. 

“You were tossing and turning,” Erik answered. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” El smiled at his words, appreciating the sentiment.

“I’m okay,” he lied, not wanting to worry Erik since he couldn’t tell him about the dream. “I’m okay now.” El hoped that this statement would become true with time. 

Frowning, Erik asked, “Are you sure? You know, you have been acting a little strangely…” 

El wanted to laugh. “A little strangely”? That was an understatement, he thought. He knew he had changed so much after Yggdrasil fell. After all, Erik wasn’t the only one who developed during that time. The world was in absolute ruin, overrun with chaos and darkness, and it needed a savior. It needed the “Luminary”, not a naive, little country boy from Cobblestone. He was forced to grow into someone who could save the world from the brink of destruction, even if he didn’t feel prepared to. He was definitely not the same kid who this Erik knew. 

“Have I?” El asked with a chuckle, unable to help himself. His laugh trailed off as he saw Erik’s frown deepen. 

Erik’s grip on his hand tightened slightly as he said, “You know you can talk to me, right, El? You can trust me. You don’t have to keep whatever’s bothering you to yourself.” 

Now, that was truly ironic, El thought with a surprising amount of bitterness. Erik spoke with so much sincerity, asking him to trust him, but not extending the same courtesy. By this point, El wasn’t supposed to know about Erik’s sister and past. By this point, Erik didn’t trust El to tell him about his deepest secret. And now, he was asking El to trust him even though he didn’t trust him in return. In the back of his mind, El knew Erik hadn’t told him yet in this timeline because he was deeply ashamed of what he did and so insanely guilty over leaving his sister. He also knew that the trust Erik was asking of El was different to the trust El was asking of Erik; Erik was asking him to trust him with his worries, while he was asking Erik to trust him with his greatest insecurity and not hate him for it. El knew there was a huge divide between these two trusts, somewhere in the recesses of his mind. However, after the day he had, he was having a hard time thinking logically anymore. Hearing a such hypocritical statement from Erik made angry tears flood his eyes once more. 

Erik noticed the tears immediately, quickly using the thumb of his other hand to wipe away a tear escaping El’s eye. “Hey, hey,” he soothed, “don’t cry, El. It’s gonna be okay.” Closing his eyes, El breathed deeply, trying to reason with himself and push his bitterness down. He just couldn’t stop thinking that he wouldn’t have this problem with his Erik. They had already worked through Erik’s problems; they didn’t have any secrets anymore. He missed that; he missed him. 

God fucking damnit, he was crying again. He had enough of crying, but he just couldn’t stop. 

El let go of Erik’s hand to cover his face with both of his hands. He felt Erik’s arms wrap around him as his shoulders started to shake with sobs. Erik just held him as he cried, making soothing humming sounds. 

Eventually, El’s tears slowed and he wrapped his arms around Erik’s back, resting his head against his chest. He was so exhausted, but was afraid to fall back asleep. He couldn’t handle another goodbye if Yggdrasil decides to “bless” him with another dream.

Erik didn’t say anything, but El could tell he wanted to. Sighing, he decided he should give Erik some sort of explanation for his breakdown, since he claimed he was “okay” only a couple minutes earlier. 

“In my dream,” he whispered, “I had to say goodbye to the people I cared about. For some reason, I was leaving and I was never going to see you or any of the others again and…” He paused, taking a deep breath to push more tears down. “Saying goodbye was so fucking hard.”

Erik’s grip on him tightened. “But we’re all right here,” he said. “I’m right here, and you’re not going anywhere.”

“I know,” El nodded, “but it just felt so… real.” He wished he could tell Erik it was real. “It hurt so badly, Erik.”

Rolling onto his back, he pulled El to his chest and rubbed his back in comforting circles. He didn’t say anything for a while. El rested his ear against his chest and the steady beat of his heartbeat helped calm his own. 

“I know how badly saying goodbye hurts,” Erik said eventually. El looked up at him. Erik didn’t meet his eyes. Staring upwards, he continued, “I had to say goodbye to someone I cared about. It was a while ago, but it still hurts.” Warmth filled El’s chest as he realized this Erik was starting to open up to him. 

“Who was it?” he asked quietly, not expecting an answer. There was a sigh above him, and then silence.

El let out a slightly disappointed sigh of his own. He just kept listening to Erik’s heart, focusing on it rather than the chaotic and upset thoughts and emotions bouncing around in his head. He was just so tired. 

“My little sister.”

And suddenly, El was completely awake. He looked back up at Erik with wide eyes. He didn’t think Erik was going to tell him.

“Your little sister?” El asked in awe, which Erik took as surprise. 

Nodding, he said, “Yeah. Her name is Mia.” He closed eyes, frowning. “I… I had to leave her behind.” El reached a hand up to move a stray piece of spiky, blue hair away from his eyes and Erik open his eyes to look at him. El just gazed at him with a soft, comforting expression, silently letting him know that he can trust him, too. “El, something… something happened to her, and it was my fault,” he whispered. El could tell Erik wanted to hide, but he bravely kept eye contact with him. “I’ve been looking for ways to save her, but I haven’t found anything. But you… you’re the Luminary and now you have the Sword of Light.” A watery shine decorated Erik’s eyes as he asked, “Do you think… could you try to save her?” 

El smiled, sitting up and resting his hands softly on the sides of Erik’s face. “Of course. You never had to ask.” Leaning his forehead against his, he whispered, “Thank you for telling me, Erik.”

Tears leaked out of Erik’s eyes as he laughed, “No, I should be thanking you, El. I’m… Im just happy there’s a chance we can save her.” He continued as El leaned back slightly, “You know, the Seer told me that if I stick with you, I’d receive forgiveness for what I did to Mia. I didn’t think I’d actually have a chance get her back.”

El’s thumb wiped away a tear from his cheek. “We’ll save her, I promise.”

Erik wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “Thank you, so much.” 

It was in that El no longer just hoped things would be okay. Although he knew that he could never recreate his relationship from the other timeline with this Erik, he knew that he could build a new, and just as beautiful one with him. He would never forget his Erik, but this Erik and his Erik were the same person. The calluses on his hands and his chapped lips proved it. He knew things would be okay. He would heal, and he knew Erik and his friends in the other timeline would heal as well. They were all so strong. They would be okay; his Erik would be okay. 

He couldn’t dwell in the past anymore. 

It was time to face the future.


End file.
